getting paid for doing NOTHING.. kinda like my family's aspirations for me!

so i believe it was my case manager who i spoke to today about how the ics workers seemed to try to make my scheduled ics visits COINCIDENTALLY at the same time as when i'm at work. later on, the ics workers' manager called me and helped me to make out a schedule which actually works with my schedule (i'm not sure how long this will last but i'll just hope it works out for me).
i also spoke with my psychologist today, expressing my frustration with my family who only seems to care at their own convenience and when it makes them look good (like "caring" or "supportive" family members which i by NO MEANS feel from them AT ALL). she helped me brainstorm some places on the east coast to look into moving to since i have ABSOLUTELY NO interest in staying in minnesota or even the midwest region. i don't think people know or CARE that i'm at the edge of a cliff mental health wise because they don't CARE to understand how i feel like a fucking failure when i'm not actually doing things constructively. SO THAT DOES NOT MEAN BEING UNENCOURAGED TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL TRULY VALUABLE AND CONSTRUCTIVE IN LIFE- SO I CAN GIVE SOME SHITTY ASS EXCUSE OF A "REHABILITATION" INSTITUTE MONEY. I'M DONE WITH THAT SHIT AND JUST THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T SEEM TO RECOGNIZE THAT FOR YOUR OWN CONVENIENCE SHOWS ME EXACTLY HOW LITTLE YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT ME. THIS IS MY LIFE. NOT MY ENTITLED ASS MOM'S. NOT AMANDA'S. MINE. just the fact that i have to waste my fucking time explaining this to you guys for the millionth time aggrivates the fuck outta me. i didn't bust my ass in rehabilitation and arp therapy so i could sit in a damn wheelchair and go mindlessly to courage kenny, while depending on social security because that's just easier and more convenient for my family who only shows concern for me when it's convenient and/or beneficial to THEM (except joe). the thought of how my grandpa called all the grandchildren and his children in the room when he was barely able to still communicate with us just came to mind (he died of ALS). i remember him telling me not to listen to what anyone says to me and to always go for my goals came to mind. i only really feel support from his relatives now that i really think about it. joe is my grandpa's nephew and he always tells me to go for my dreams. he's NOT just concerned about what's convenient for himself or what makes him look good or "caring" and "supportive". you dicks should just stick to being the selfish asses you are and stop acting like you "care" when you're not fooling anyone and you're just wasting your (and more importantly- MY) time. i suppose that may be the point of this shit. afterall- you all are selfish, unempathetic twits (not joe or jay). i'm not sure why you all don't mind your fucking business because you OBVIOUSLY don't care about what's good for me- trying to force me to go back into a wheelchair and give some pathetic excuse of a rehab. facility money for not actually helping me with my goals- thus, making me into a mindless vulnerable pawn. if you wanna see someone waste their fuckin time that much- YOU go there in an electric wheelchair (after quitting your jobs and getting on social security of course). experience how it feels and how people talk about you, mocking your efforts to be a truly valuable piece to this society. certain entitled people are scoffing at this right now, i guarantee. the day YOU walk a mile in MY shoes is the day i actually listen to you. so take your pointless efforts and devote them to something else that actually makes sense.